Saturday, June 23, 2012

Authors Behaving Badly: How authors miss opportunities to learn and connect


The other day my Agency received a query that was, lets say, subpar. It was lacking in format, skill, and organization. The author did not follow any of the rules for writing a good Query letter. It included marketing plan information, and failed to tell us the genre and word count of the manuscript. Not to mention that the plot was barely comprehensible within all the self-proclaiming accolades and an endorsement from Chloe, the manager of a Barns & Noble. 


My Agents declined this query by telling the author that his story is not what we are looking for at this time. Naturally, this clever author wrote back a two page e-mail about how short sighted agents are and that our agency is typical, and callous, etc, etc, etc.... sigh

This made me unhappy on multiple levels. First let me say that we at the Corvisiero Literary Agency seriously, and often to a fault, try to help authors as much as possible. Unfortunately, given the volume of queries that we receive, it isn't possible to tell every single author exactly why they are declined and how to fix the shortcomings. So it is inevitable that not everyone will be satisfied. 

However, once in a while, someone comes along with an inferiority complex and upon rejection they go beyond the, "I'll get this published with out you" disgruntled response. This week we had one of these such incidents... The author wrote back a fairly obnoxious letter addressed to me personally... so naturally I had to respond. 

...Well, I didn't have to, and most of my colleagues and clients think that I'm crazy for taking the time to address these things, but I guess that this is part of what makes me. I like to help people. So I wrote the following response:

Dear John,

It has come to my attention that your story was declined by our agency because it does not fit our list. When an agency says this to you, it simply means that we either are not looking for your type of story at this time because they are not selling, or because we have too many of them, or it means that we don't like how you presented it- meaning that the story itself did not sound interesting. I am personally writing to you because you and I had previously communicated, and after seeing this, I am honestly upset that my agents failed to notice that from your query and that you received such generic response.

Unfortunately, when we work with thousands of stories, it is sometimes difficult to provide as much feedback to each deserving author. I'm sorry about that. I think that your skill has potential and that the story could be interesting. And given different circumstances, I would have liked to read your work. However, after reading your e-mail I have to say that I'm dejected by the disparaging tone of response. I'm sorry that you are disappointed, but publishing is a tough business and we as the readers of your work, and the people who will enthusiastically sell that work, have to choose things to represent that truly touch us, appeal to us, and capture our interest. Reading thousands of manuscripts per year otherwise would be torture! Also, there are several books out or about to be released with a common theme (from what we gathered from your query) in the market. So that's the reason why would not it add you to our list. 

On another note, your query also lacked the formalities of standard query letters. The format made it difficult to assess the value of your story or understand the plot and genre from what you wrote. Your blurb sounds like a synopsis and it is difficult to understand. You also don't have a catch phrase, a genre, or word count. I'm sorry to say that your query letter will not help you get this book represented. You're right about the marketing comment, but wrong to have included all of that info in your letter. The query letter is not a proposal. And no one will pay any attention to Chloe from Barns & Noble's comments even if she thinks that you are the new Stephen King. Choose the words carefully. Remember that less is more. If you go to WritersDigest.com, LiteraryPowerhouse.com, and my blog you will find lots of tips and workshops available that will help you work on this. I hope that this is helpful to you. 

Best of Luck!
Marisa


So how would you react if you received this letter? Would you be satisfied with the answer? Would you go look up the suggested resources? Would you ask how you could change your letter to make this more interesting? Would you take advantage of having the agent's ear and ask if you could fix it and resubmit it? Would you appreciate that the agent took the time to read all of the correspondence and replied to you even though you were so rude to her without knowing that she hadn't even been the one to decline your work? 


I guess I'm still too gullible, because these are the sort of responses I expected. Instead, I received an even longer e-mail from this 'gentleman' with disparaging words and commentary about how he is so much smarter than agents and that all we have to do is decide to sell something to actually sell it, and that we don't have to love the book!

These are the only 2 out of 27 bullet point comments that I had the patience to read in this letter before responding to him, this time with a much shorter response which basically told him that he has too much time on his hands, and that he should better utilize that time to learn to write a query letter. 

Alright, alright... this time I wasn't polite at all... I also told him, "get off your high horse, it has stiff legs and it will get you NO where." 

Then I marked him as Spam. So he will never get a chance to resubmit to our agency again. Although this should be as satisfying as 'defriending' someone on Facebook, it wasn't. It was bitter sweet. 

It made me sad actually, because this author, with a potentially good story, is wasting his time on fighting back the decline letters instead of learning from the feedback. This means that he will have a very hard time selling his work, or even getting it read, simply because he is too proud to take a step back and reconsider his query letter. He looks down upon and resents agents, and does not understand the business. His inflexible attitude and bad behavior are his proverbial horse. 

In my case, it's just as well, because clearly he is not the type of person I want to work with. And I'm not alone in this thinking. In fact, not many of my colleagues would have bothered to reply at all. But I am who I am, and I hope that one day my feedback will help someone get that right agent or that big deal. 

My advice to you is to learn from anyone qualified who is willing to help. Don't get caught up in your feelings of rejection. Use every contact as an opportunity to move forward. Your goal is not to get even, or to get the last word in. Your goal is to get published... that's when you get the last word! ;)

All my best,
Marisa





36 comments:

  1. Wow, I can't believe the amazing opportunity this writer passed up. By responding to him personally, you opened the door for him to received constructive feedback. Unfortunately, his ego prevented him from developing a relationship that could only help him as a writer. So sad.

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    Replies
    1. So true! To be honest, I saw some potential in his story that my Jr. Agents had not, and had he responded in some way that showed that he was willing to revise the letter to show me the that the story was unique enough, I probably would have invited him to resubmit. But he really blew it. Thank you for reading my blog and for posting. I appreciate your feedback!

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  2. I echo Sarah. Wow. Obviously, this person has decided to compound his ignorance with arrogance. Perhaps it didn't give the satisfaction of unfriending someone, but please take some satisfaction in knowing that there are those of us out there who would love personal communication back from an agent. To receive the gift of communication from an expert would be met with nothing but appreciation.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! That's right. It was a wasted opportunity for him. It was more than that actually, because I will remember him and his brash and stubborn ignorance. Had he responded with a good and persuasive e-mail telling me that the letter is not representative of his work, I may have gone as far as to invite him to a free workshop. I do a lot of these through Literary Powerhouse on Queries and Query Critiques.

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  3. I think you were gracious to write him back. Thanks for sharing that letter - I'm going to point writers to this when I hear them yelping about rejections. It's great to get the 'inside look' on the (relative) kindness of form rejections.

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  4. I suspect that even *if* he finds an agent to represent him, he'll quickly get a reputation from editors that he's 'difficult' to work with, making his works harder, if not impossible for an agent to sell. What happens if a reviewer (professional or a reader from Goodreads or Amazon) says less than positive things about one of his published works? Sure, that'll work out for the positive.

    Maybe he'll sit back and reassess? Maybe his wife will 'dope slap' him, and wake him up? Maybe he'll remain angry and bitter at those who don't recognize his genius?

    I've known a few small press publishers who have had similar experiences--all too often. I read slush for a small ezine, and we often provide comments on rejected short stories. Those, more than one might expect, earn angry replies. Think that doesn't have a high probability of burning bridges?

    I agree with Sarah above. Sad.

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    Replies
    1. Terry you just reminded me of another story from a few years back. I should write a post about that one too and call it Author's Behaving Badly Part II: Actions speak louder than words.... Stay tuned. ;)

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  5. Marisa, I wish you hadn't responded to him. As the old adage goes: Don't argue with idiots. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

    However, with that said, it would burn me up to see a letter like his. So it's easier said than done.

    Thank you for sharing, and I'm sorry a bad seed wasted your time.

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    Replies
    1. LOL you're right. I shouldn't waste my time, more often than not the response from these types of ranters is not positive. But I remain hopeful that I can help some. So when I can, or when I feel that I should, I do. Even if it means loosing the little free time that I have. Maybe I'll get some Karma points or something.

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  6. It amazes me that people behave this way to agents. I've read other similar stories, but it always blows me away. How could someone possibly think that acting like a jerk is going to help them? Do they really believe that anyone would respond with, "wow, you're right. I am being short sighted. Clearly you are a genius. Let's sign you up."
    I have a lot of respect for agents. And I think it's amazing that so many of you are willing to take the time to have blogs like this, or tweet tips for writers. Please remember that most of us are really thankful! :)

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  7. Wow. I honestly cannot understand why people act like that. Don't they know they're burning bridges? It's sad that people act like that.

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  8. Marisa that was so above and beyond! This guy sounds like he needs a rude awakening. This is not an entitled world. We all work really hard for what we get. Sorry you have to deal with "writers" like this.

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    1. Thanks Julia... there are all types. When you decline a few thousand queries a year, you're bound to hit some snags and loose some facebook friends. It comes with the territory. I think that this guy may have gotten the point with my second e-mail. Although with someone so closed minded, there is always the risk that I've just reinforced his negative perception of agents. He's probably on Query Tracker and WaterCooler right now defiling my agency's good name. Oh well... win some loose some.

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  9. There's no excuse for rudeness. But I do wonder if parenting trends over the past couple of decades have led parents to shelter their children from rejection or even disappointment. Add to that social promotion in school and rejection and failure are likely unfamiliar experiences for some. As someone who moved to self-publishing after 18 months of non-simultaneous querying (therefore only about eleven agents) there can come a time when a writer feels they need to change their approach. But keep your frustrations to yourself or a few trusted confidants.

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  10. Ida, you're right. I couldn't agree more. There is no excuse for rudeness. There are many ways to get your point across. One would think that an author would have mastered this skill by now.

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  11. I can't believe that someone can be that rude. I know that submitting a query is an intensely personal thing for a lot of writers, but it doesn't give anyone permission to be rude.

    Very sad for many reasons.

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  12. So sad? Nah. I can understand getting frustrated from being shot down over and over again, but that's the gauntlet we have to endure in trying to break in. If you want to blow up on someone, cuss out your cat while it sits there blinking at you without a care. Don't attack the key masters or you'll never get through the front door. I can't pity this guy. He's got to develop a thicker skin and higher level of professionalism, and sounds like he isn't trying too hard to do that.

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  13. Good grief, he is a mess coming and going. You had a ride on the crazy coaster; thank goodness you jumped off in time. No one can help this guy. Perhaps in a lucid moment he will realize how unprofessional he was. I think your response provided feedback that the average writer would take to heart.

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  14. You offer unbelievable advice and this guy shoves it back at you? Someone's too used to being the big fish in a pond it seems. Would this guy spit on someone he was interviewing with for a job? Doubtful. Publishing is akin to a job. Behave professional or your reputation will eat you alive.

    I would love that kind of guidance in a rejection letter. It'd make me work harder to get it right. I've had AWFUL query letters that I've written. I just can't win it seems. But your advice is impeccable compared to an auto-reject.

    Great blog post.

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  15. I think it's too bad that some people feel the need to react that way to rejection. If he were to have his book published, how would he react to a bad review? Will he spend the rest of his life sending nasty emails to each reader who criticizes his book? I kind of get why it makes you sad.

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  16. The time you spent trying to assist this writer, who won't be able to accept your suggestions, would be better spent with writers who are open to your help.

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  17. Once again, I am amazed people actually do this kind of thing. I know it shouldn't surprise me, but it still does every time I read encounters such as these. We, as authors, need to take critical feedback and revisit how our query letter or manuscripts are reading to outsiders, because gaining the perspective of an agent from a personal letter is valuable and should be treated as such.

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  18. Wow, that is truly insane. I understand the feeling of receiving a rejection letter all too well, but the level to which this writer took his frustration is appalling. Honestly, to even receive a response back from an agency or agent is a reward in and of itself. Like I've said before, I think it's amazing that you take the time to work with writers and help them develop their skill and/or point out what they're doing wrong. Not many agents have the time or patience to do either. It's sad to say, but many writers need to let go of the stigma of "I'm a writer," and just let their craft speak for itself.

    Vonae Deyshawn
    www.myvirtueplace.com

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  19. The writer sound pretty pathetic to me. Publishing is very much a SUBJECTIVE business. If you're going to succeed as a writer, you need to realize that not everybody is going to love your work. As writers, we need to grow a thick skin, work on our craft and most importantly, LEARN from our mistakes! There's no getting around it.

    I think you were being more than reasonable with your reply. Most agents would not have even given this guy a second glance. It's his loss for failing to learn and take your advice.

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  20. I'm sorry you wasted your time with a fool, but hopefully posting it here will help some other writers not be such fools — so thank you!

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  21. I currently work for the San Miguel Writers' Conference, but did an internship for a literary agency in New York when I first graduated grad school. It's great reading your blog, because I encountered similar people while going through the thousands of letters in the slush pile. When I knew someone was just not right for us I would send a form letter, but when I saw potential and thought the writer could use a bit of a push with their rejection I would write out a personal letter saying it was good and maybe they should think about trying such and such. Many times this opened the door to chaos. I remember telling a memoir writer that he should think about starting his book closer to where the story began, that starting with his birth might not be the best place to begin and he wrote me back an earful. Another person who submitted had a good short story collection, but it was nowhere near polished enough for me to show to a senior agent. I told him that he should go through his work and polish it, etc and resubmit it at a future time (i was thinking 6 months to a year). He sent me the manuscript again three days later. A quick look showed all the errors and mistakes were still intact.

    Anyway, sorry to go off on a tangent. Just wanted to say I like your article and I think it's a move in the right direction to offer classes on query letter writing, like you have.
    Nathan Feuerberg

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